When I decided to keep a blog to document my trip abroad, it was recommended that I start it before I had actually left. This way, I could really keep a record of the whole experience; the thoughts and feelings I have before I depart, the three and a half months of adventure while I'm there, and the readjustment once I'm back home. I'm a little upset I don't remember who gave me this advice, but I'd like to take a moment to thank that person -- to the kind genius who recommended this, I appreciate you.
Over the last week, I've experienced just about every emotion possible while preparing for this trip, and I plan on using this post to attempt to convey those feelings the best I can. It's been quite the rollercoaster in my head, so anyone reading this who may be prone to motion sickness should maybe take some breaks while reading this. After every minute or so, I recommend looking up from the screen and doing something different: get some water, pet a dog, play some skee-ball, run away from the clowns, and for goodness sakes don't eat funnel cake without sharing. Got your plan of action? Great! Let's begin.
Excitement
Obviously this is one of the biggest emotions that I've felt during the last week as I've prepared for my trip. When I had made the decision to study abroad, it was something that I knew I needed to do. Throughout my life, I will likely have more opportunities to travel and see the world, but I may never be able to study in another country again. I get to learn a new language, one that I've wanted to learn since I was a child. I'm going to make new lifelong friends and go on adventures. I'll be trying new foods and exploring some of the most beautiful parts of the world. The photography opportunities will be breathtaking. There's just so much to be excited for, and I knew that if I didn't take advantage of this opportunity I would regret it for the rest of my life.
Anxiety
Along with excitement comes the nerves. I'm not ashamed to admit that I am a little scared of what's to come. When I was first accepted into the program, people would ask me if I was nervous and I very confidently said that I was not. At the time, it was true. I knew, and still know now, that I'm a very independent woman who can tackle anything I set my mind to. I get along well with almost everyone I meet, and I enjoy a good challenge. I typically don't stress the little things, and take any obstacle thrown in my way in stride. These are all still true but as the day approached, as today approached, the little things did start to get to me. I've never been abroad, and I'm going to have to navigate my first commute to a foreign country all on my own. While I'm not afraid of flying, the thought of having to navigating two foreign airports and going through customs and security by myself is incredibly daunting. I mean, I know the procedure -- I know what's allowed on planes and what isn't; I know not to make jokes while going through customs; and I've been given some great advice by many people seeking to calm my nerves. I have no logical reason to think that anything is going to go wrong, but I'm still intimidated. Out of everything I'm nervous about, just getting to Florence in one piece (and with my luggage!!!) is by far causing me to feel the most anxious.
Of course I'm worried about getting along with the five other women I'll be living with, and what my classes will be like. I'm worried about how I'll react to being catcalled and "pinched," as many people have warned me about. Will I be able to adjust to the culture and to the food? What if I get lost, or mugged, or *insert any other fear you might have before you may have gone abroad*? Believe me, I've thought about it all. But like I said, I enjoy a challenge. I'm nervous about all these things, but I know that the things that we are scared to do are usually the ones that we should do. They are the experiences that show us who we are and help us grow. So am I nervous? Hell yes. Am I going to let that stop me? Hell no.
Appreciation
This is something I cannot express enough. I am so incredibly thankful for everyone who has helped me get to this point in my journey. I'd like to take the time now to recognize some of those people, because I have not done this process alone.
To begin, I need to thank my dear mentor and professor C. Kubasta. C.K., thank you for reaching out to Andelys to contact me about going abroad. You took the first step to help me realize I needed to go on this adventure and experience this opportunity. If you hadn't asked her to contact me, I would probably be sitting in class right now at Marian, beginning my final year with considerably less adventure than I'll be getting now. Thank you for helping me realize I needed to do this for myself.
I'd like to thank Andelys for all of the help you've given me throughout the last year. You've been an invaluable guide and advisor, and I couldn't be more appreciative of your patience and guidance as I've prepared for going abroad. Thank you for making that first contact last Fall and for assisting me with this entire process.
Of course, thank you to my family for being so supportive of my decision to spend a semester abroad. Thank you for all of the advice and well wishes, for the hugs and the guidance. I couldn't go abroad without knowing I have your blessing. Mom, I know that this is going to be hard for you, but you've been a rockstar and your support means a lot to me. Thank you for teaching me the tools I needed to make this decision and to go on this adventure. I promise I'll keep in touch and I'll be safe. I love you.
To my friends, professors, and mentors back at Marian, thank you for being so awesome. I am going to miss you all to no end, but I'll be back for one final semester! Thank you for all of the hugs you gave me last week when I came to visit. I can't tell you how much better they made me feel. The confidence and support you all give me push me to be my best, and I know I couldn't do this without all of you. A big thank you to my friends in the Chicago area as well for all of the times you've reached out to wish me luck, for all the advice you've given, and for just being amazing.
*product endorsement* Thank you, Netflix, for being there for me as a distraction when I'm too stressed to think about packing. Thank you, Amazon, for your one-day shipping for all my last minute needs. However, we need to discuss how you package your items because the monster box I received for the small camera bag I ordered was egregious. Thank you, Advil PM, for allowing me to have a final good night of sleep here at home. I may not be able to sleep for the next 30 hours, so I have you to thank for any sanity I manage to maintain. Thank you, Portillo's, for my final American meal. I chose wisely.
I need to give a final shout out to my best friend. Anna, I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss you. But I am so grateful that you've been my biggest supporter of going abroad. I know that being by yourself for a semester is going to be challenging, but you'll be great! Thank you for the constant reminder that I'm going to be just fine and calming my crazy anxiety. I know you tell me that it's in the job description of being a best friend but you should know that you go above and beyond, and I am so grateful for you. I love ya Merls, and I'll be back before you know it!
Wanderlust
Since I'm going abroad, my desire to travel has increased exponentially. While I've made no definite plans to travel once I'm there, I do have a bucket list of places that I hope to visit. There are scheduled excursions that I'll be going on with the International Studies Abroad Program to: Sienna, Piza, Assisi, Chinque Terre, Rome, and the Central Hilltowns of Italy. Aside from these, I am hoping to also get to Venice, Bari, and Luca. The first has been on my bucket list since I was a child, and the latter two are where my family immigrated from. I would love to get to see other parts of Europe as well, but I do have a limited budget. My plan is just to be as spontaneous and free as possible. Italy is beautiful and there is plenty to explore there, so if I don't make it outside of the country I'll be perfectly okay with that as well.
Sadness
This is my senior year of my undergrad degree. If I could go back and change anything about this trip, it would be that I had done it sooner. I've realized just how much I'm going to miss by being gone for the last Fall semester, and it does make me sort of sad. I'll miss being a student mentor; the incredible bonding between our team and guiding freshman during their transition into college. I'll miss being a student leader in organizations and clubs. I'll miss the Honor's program Fall events and SPECTRUM's Masquerade Ball. I'll miss my friends and family. I won't celebrate Thanksgiving. It's not until you'll be gone that you realize how much you take for granted all the little things you look forward to during the first semester of school. But people grow older and they move on, and this adventure is part of that journey for me. It makes me sad to think I'll miss out on all these experiences, but I know I'm going to be doing so many new things that will make up for it.
I think I'm going to leave the list of emotions at just the top 5. I could go on to talk about how I also feel happiness, anticipation, confidence, courage, stress, and wonder, but that could take too long and I still need to shower and finish packing before I leave in a little over an hour. I'm sure the person next to me on the flight will be appreciative if I showered. Nine and a half hours is a long time to sit next to someone with body odor, so I know I'm hoping they've done me the same courtesy.
In all seriousness, I'm so incredibly thrilled to be going on this journey. I know the nerves will pass and I'll just be left basking in the glory of breadsticks and gelato. Thank you to everyone who has helped me get to this point and for your support. Thank you for reading my blog and being interested enough to make it to the end of it. The next 30 hours are going to be the hardest, but if there's one thing I know it's this: BRO I GOT THIS!
Ciao!
No comments:
Post a Comment