Re-becoming a Freshman

Ciao from Firenze! (That's Italian for Florence, so before you wonder whether I actually made it to school, don't worry about it. I did.)

(See??)

Well, I've successfully been abroad for an entire week. Technically tomorrow marks the one week date for being in Florence, but I began my travels on a Tuesday so let me have it. If I went into detail about everything I've done/felt/worried about/experienced over the last seven days it would likely take you another seven to read through this. This will already be a pretty long post since the first week has been incredibly overwhelming and a lot has happened. I'm still processing this whole week, so this post will likely be one of the longest throughout my entire stay. I'll just lay out the highlights for you while being as detailed as possible so you, my friends and family back home, can start to understand just how challenging it has been for me to adjust.

Yes, I said challenging. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I was woefully underprepared (mentally and emotionally) for coming abroad. Packing-wise, I did great -- a real traveling pro. I mentioned in my last blog post that I was the most worried about the whole traveling aspect and actually arriving in Florence. At the time I believed that would be the most stressful part for me, and my arrival would immediately alleviate 90% of my anxiety. To a point, I was right. I mentioned being nervous about customs because I have never gone through it before, but I actually NEVER HAD TO GO THROUGH IT WHEN I ARRIVED. I grabbed my baggage once I landed in Florence and just walked right to the exit of the airport. I was shocked, and before you think I somehow managed to just evade customs and sneak out, all the other students I met at the exit were also astounded. I'm no smuggler. Now, I know that's not going to be the case on my return trip, but I feel much more comfortable going through customs on my home territory. But my traveling for now is done, and upon my arrival a whole new type of stress hit almost immediately: culture shock.

They tell us in all of our orientations that we are going to experience culture shock, and I was expecting to at some point. However, most of those orientations claimed it hits after the first "honeymoon" phase which is filled with excitement and endorphins and happy feelings. Somehow I skipped that phase, and went right into shock. Looking back, I don't think the cultural habits of people and their behavior was so much a shock as learning how I was supposed to act and navigating my way around. The transition to living and studying abroad was about 58320528 times more challenging than my transition from high school to college 3 years ago, which is the reason for the title of this post. I may even go so far as to say that it was more difficult than going from middle school into high school, and everyone knows that one's a rough one. As a senior in college, I felt lower than a Freshman.

When I made my choice to attend Marian University back in 2012, one of the biggest factors that lead to my decision was the size of the campus. When I took a tour of the university, I immediately knew that I would never get lost on Marian's campus. I mean, I don't even have to cross a street to access any of the main buildings/offices/classrooms. Now, the entire city of Florence is my campus. There is no designated area for the University buildings; depending on what class you're enrolled in, you could be in any of the 7 building locations all over the city. On Wednesdays, I have 30 minutes to make it from one class to the next, but my walking commute between buildings is 26 minutes. 26! I could walk through every floor of every class building at Marian, and still have time to stop at Common Grounds for a coffee. Now I have to hope I don't get stuck behind a tourist group on my way to class.

Besides the size of the campus, or lack of one, there's a lot of other new experiences that make me feel like a total noob. I'll list below the major categories of them to give you a rough idea of just how much of a Freshman I've become during my Senior year of college.

People

For one, I knew absolutely no one going on this abroad experience with me when I got here. I did talk to my housemates briefly through Facebook so that I at least could figure out who my direct roommate would be. Other than that, I had not met or talked with anyone else going on this trip. I wasn't bothered by this though because I'm good with people and can typically make friends fairly easily. The only time I had actually wished I was going with someone I knew was during the whole traveling extravaganza. It just would have been nice to do that with a buddy so I could have been a little calmer. I have made some friends here already! I've got a pretty great roommate, and I get along with the rest of my housemates. I haven't had a change in roommates for three years. Freshman year, Anna and I were randomly selected to be together and it was the best thing that happened to us. We've been living together for 3 years now, and I can't even begin to tell you how amazing it is to be able to live with your best friend. It's comfortable and familiar; you know each other's schedules and behavior patterns, likes and dislikes. Living together is easy. Obviously, it wasn't as easy during our first semester together because we were still learning about one another. After three years, however, it's SO MUCH harder to just leave and live with a complete stranger, half way around the world. I'd like to give a shout out now to my new roommate, Emily, who has been fantastic. Getting along with your roommate can either make or break your experience at any university, no matter where you're studying or what country you're living in, so I'm glad we have a great personality match.

(Hey, Em!)

Getting used to other people in Florence is also a challenge. For one, whenever you're walking around the city you always have to be on high alert. I can't even tell you how many times I've been warned about pickpockets from people back home, but also from those here in the city. It's still tourist season here so there are constantly people everywhere, huge crowds of tourists blocking the roads and taking up all the room on the sidewalks. I know I'm also new to the area, but I'm already annoyed by tourists. Like I said, I typically have a long commute from one place to the next and a limited time to do it. I don't have time to be blocked by a group of people trying to figure out their new selfie stick. By the way, I have never seen so many selfie sticks in my entire life. They are sold (illegally, I might add) by street vendors, and you can't go more than 50 feet in any direction without being approached by one of them as they shove the selfie stick in your face asking you to buy it. Instead of a selfie stick, I fully endorse this product:

TIP: For those of you who are interested in ever traveling abroad, don't buy anything from a vendor that has their product spread out and displayed on the floor. Even if it's a really good deal, don't buy it. Those are illegal vendors, selling fake/counterfeit product. No real vendor is actually going to lay out Gucci and Prada merchandise on the floor of a plaza. If the police see you buying these products, you can get a very large fine. Just your friendly traveler tip. You're welcome.

Language

Obviously, I knew I was coming to a country where I did not know the native tongue. I'm surprised at how well some people speak English here, but that does depend on the area you're at. If you stay in central Florence, most Italians are used to the extreme amount of tourism that comes through so they speak a fair amount of English. Definitely enough to communicate your needs and ask basic questions. If you wander into the more local areas, however, then it becomes much more challenging. I went to a very popular market today, and by popular I mean among the local Italians. It was a 45 minute walk, so you know that most tourists aren't going to know about a weekly market. This also meant that almost no one spoke any English. I didn't travel there with any of my friends, they all had class. It also didn't matter that I went with other people from my abroad program, because as soon as you hit the market you lose everyone. Everything was so much cheaper; I found leather bags ranging from 3-20 Euros. They also sold food, clothing, animals, books, you name it. I didn't buy anything today because I was too intimidated by communicating with the people in the market, especially since I was on my own. It dawned on me that while I know how to inquire about the cost of something, but I still don't know how to translate the answer. Obviously, this does not help me at all. So I used today as a reconnaissance mission, and when I learn a little more Italian I'll go back and haggle for an even better price, hopefully with some friends as well.

Note to self: start making flash cards for the numbers 1-100.

Food

Now obviously the food here is different than food back home in the good ol' U S of A. Gelato and pasta and pizza, oh my! But what I didn't expect was for every restaurant I've seen to have the exact same menu. Pasta and pizza is served everywhere. They also have some meat selection, but choose wisely because that will double your bill at least. I am fortunate enough to live right around the corner from one of the only supermarkets in all of Florence. There's maybe 4, tops. Luckily, I don't have to walk far to get my groceries. Still, this is no typical grocery store like what I was used to at home. The products are different, the prices are different, and the taste of everything is different. Also, everything is obviously written in Italian, so good luck finding a new food and being able to decipher what's in it. I've basically stuck to the basics since I've been here: apples, mortedella sandwiches (thank you Nonni for introducing me to this Italian meat as a child so I knew something here I would like,) cereal, and crackers. Yes, I'm branching out a little more every time I go to the store and try something new. But I knew I couldn't overwhelm my tastebuds and stomach as much as my other senses have been overwhelmed over the last week. I needed some kind of familiarity in order to keep some sanity. I only buy enough groceries to last a few days each time I go. We have limited space in our apartment, and it's recommended that you only purchase food in smaller quantities. Since I'm located near Conad, the supermarket, I'm totally cool with it. The cashiers will probably know me by name by the time the semester is over. Either by name, or just "hey there's that dumb American again."

The water was a big adjustment for me as well. For one, water fountains (sorry, "bubblers" for all you Wisconsinites) are nonexistent. Also, if you walk into a restaurant and ask for water, they won't give you tap water. You have to pay for a bottle. A glass bottle. Of water. So there goes the cheap way of staying hydrated while going out. Luckily, I brought a reusable water bottle that I can just refill at my apartment using the sink. It may not taste the best, but it works. If I want it to be chilled, though, I have to prepare ahead and put it in the freezer for a few hours before I know I'm going out.

To answer your question, yes. The gelato is as amazing as everyone tells you it is. Yes, I have had it just about every other day. I get it in small quantities, though, so that there is no possible way I get tired of it in the three months I'm here.

It's been one week, and I have still not had a glass of wine. So that's a fail on my part. I did have a glass of champagne on my first night here when my roommates and I went out to dinner. We were enticed into the restaurant we went to by the promise of a free glass of wine or champagne. So, win.

Noise

This was by far the hardest adjustment for me. It is never quiet here, ever. As an introvert, my quiet time is crucial to my sanity. I'm used to living in a suburban area, and at school I live in more of a rural area. The most we hear at night is the drunk college student stumbling back from a party, or a random car go by. All things that can be quieted by just closing the window. However, I live right across the Ponte Vecchio, the famous bridge in Florence that attracts every tourist that ever visits. There are three restaurants in the plaza right outside my window, and shops all along the street. Our apartment is located right next to a busy intersection where cars and Vespas are constantly zooming in and out of all hours of the night, as well as people who are fully participating in all aspects of night life that Florence has to offer. And by night life, I mean until about 4am.

Last night, a random parade began right outside my apartment. Like, a legitimate lantern parade. I know this because I was sitting in my room reading before heading to bed when a marching band started playing right below my balcony. I had no idea what was going on, and a sea of people were literally blocking the street. Cars and vespas couldn't even get though, and there was a police car guiding the traffic. We're talking full-out celebratory parade, beginning at 8:30pm.

The day gets started again around 7am as people begin waking up and business start getting ready for the day. It really is never quiet. I have to wear ear plugs during the night, but even those don't block all the noise. I remember on the first morning after I slept in my apartment, I went into the bathroom and just sat on the lidded toilet while hearing all the commotion of people, cars, children, music, and animals, completely overwhelmed with the realization that I was never going to experience silence again until the middle of December. The city was literally going to be the soundtrack of my life 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Even with closed windows, you can still hear it all, just slightly muffled. A full week in and I'm still not used to it, but every day gets a little easier. That's true for the rest of the newness, but the noise was/is my biggest concern.

Scenery

(Original Photography)

Now, this is something that I hope I never get used to. Every day the architecture and the beauty of this city takes my breath away. I am stunned by the artistry of the buildings and the monuments. I live right by the river, on the far side of the city across the Ponte Vecchio. So any time I need to head to class or go into the heart of the city, I get to cross bridges and walk by the river. The architecture is mind-blowing, and no matter what time of day it is the sun always casts a glow along the walls of the buildings, especially along the river. I have not yet had the opportunity to go around and use my DSLR camera, but I have plenty of time to allow the photographer in me to explore. I'm glad, during opportunities like this, that I have an artistic eye that can see just a little more beauty than most people might. I can look at even the smallest thing, like a door frame or the symmetry of the windows on the buildings, and just be completely awestruck by the simplicity. I love the cobblestone streets and the wooden window shutters, the rounded archways and the large heavy doors. Everything is so simple, yet incredibly complex.

(Original Photography)

One of my favorite views, though, is the one I have the most access to. My balcony (see first or last photo in this blog post for a picture). I'm located on the 6th floor, but floors aren't quite the same here. Put it this way, I have to climb 126 stairs to get to my apartment. We do have an elevator, but sometimes (like today) it's out of order. I will say that with all of the walking I do on a daily basis (usually between 1-3 hours a day) and stair climbing, if I don't come home in December at least 15 pounds lighter, I've done something wrong. #Goals.

The only thing I do miss, however, is grass. Today was the first time I saw any grass since arriving, and I had to walk 45 minutes to see it. It's the little things you realize you start to miss, right?

I think I've taken up enough of your time. I've spent about 5 hours writing this (I didn't have class today so I needed to do something productive) and I need to prepare for my 8 hour day of classes tomorrow. As you can see, I've had to make a lot of adjustments over the last week, and I will have to make many more throughout the next several months. At first, I wasn't sure I could actually go through with an entire semester. As someone who struggles with anxiety, part of me wanted to just give up and turn around and go home. Back to the silence, back to familiarity, back to comfortable beds and family and friends. But a larger part of me knew that this was going to be the experience of a lifetime and that I would always regret it if I quit. Every day gets a little easier, truly. The pit in my stomach that's there when I get up in the morning gets smaller and smaller each day. I get more familiar with the city a little more every time I go exploring, and with familiarity comes comfort and peace of mind.

It took me several days to get from this:

to this:

So was the past week one of the most challenging ones of my life? Yes. Am I glad I stuck it through? Of course. And am I looking forward to the rest of the semester? You bet!

Arrivederci!

Ciao, America!

Well, today's the day. September 1st, 2015. A bright and partly cloudy Tuesday with 90% humidity. Today I say goodbye to the U.S. as I start my incredibly semester in Florence.

When I decided to keep a blog to document my trip abroad, it was recommended that I start it before I had actually left. This way, I could really keep a record of the whole experience; the thoughts and feelings I have before I depart, the three and a half months of adventure while I'm there, and the readjustment once I'm back home. I'm a little upset I don't remember who gave me this advice, but I'd like to take a moment to thank that person -- to the kind genius who recommended this, I appreciate you.

Over the last week, I've experienced just about every emotion possible while preparing for this trip, and I plan on using this post to attempt to convey those feelings the best I can. It's been quite the rollercoaster in my head, so anyone reading this who may be prone to motion sickness should maybe take some breaks while reading this. After every minute or so, I recommend looking up from the screen and doing something different: get some water, pet a dog, play some skee-ball, run away from the clowns, and for goodness sakes don't eat funnel cake without sharing. Got your plan of action? Great! Let's begin.

Excitement

Obviously this is one of the biggest emotions that I've felt during the last week as I've prepared for my trip. When I had made the decision to study abroad, it was something that I knew I needed to do. Throughout my life, I will likely have more opportunities to travel and see the world, but I may never be able to study in another country again. I get to learn a new language, one that I've wanted to learn since I was a child. I'm going to make new lifelong friends and go on adventures. I'll be trying new foods and exploring some of the most beautiful parts of the world. The photography opportunities will be breathtaking. There's just so much to be excited for, and I knew that if I didn't take advantage of this opportunity I would regret it for the rest of my life.

Anxiety

Along with excitement comes the nerves. I'm not ashamed to admit that I am a little scared of what's to come. When I was first accepted into the program, people would ask me if I was nervous and I very confidently said that I was not. At the time, it was true. I knew, and still know now, that I'm a very independent woman who can tackle anything I set my mind to. I get along well with almost everyone I meet, and I enjoy a good challenge. I typically don't stress the little things, and take any obstacle thrown in my way in stride. These are all still true but as the day approached, as today approached, the little things did start to get to me. I've never been abroad, and I'm going to have to navigate my first commute to a foreign country all on my own. While I'm not afraid of flying, the thought of having to navigating two foreign airports and going through customs and security by myself is incredibly daunting. I mean, I know the procedure -- I know what's allowed on planes and what isn't; I know not to make jokes while going through customs; and I've been given some great advice by many people seeking to calm my nerves. I have no logical reason to think that anything is going to go wrong, but I'm still intimidated. Out of everything I'm nervous about, just getting to Florence in one piece (and with my luggage!!!) is by far causing me to feel the most anxious.

Of course I'm worried about getting along with the five other women I'll be living with, and what my classes will be like. I'm worried about how I'll react to being catcalled and "pinched," as many people have warned me about. Will I be able to adjust to the culture and to the food? What if I get lost, or mugged, or *insert any other fear you might have before you may have gone abroad*? Believe me, I've thought about it all. But like I said, I enjoy a challenge. I'm nervous about all these things, but I know that the things that we are scared to do are usually the ones that we should do. They are the experiences that show us who we are and help us grow. So am I nervous? Hell yes. Am I going to let that stop me? Hell no.

Appreciation

This is something I cannot express enough. I am so incredibly thankful for everyone who has helped me get to this point in my journey. I'd like to take the time now to recognize some of those people, because I have not done this process alone.

To begin, I need to thank my dear mentor and professor C. Kubasta. C.K., thank you for reaching out to Andelys to contact me about going abroad. You took the first step to help me realize I needed to go on this adventure and experience this opportunity. If you hadn't asked her to contact me, I would probably be sitting in class right now at Marian, beginning my final year with considerably less adventure than I'll be getting now. Thank you for helping me realize I needed to do this for myself.

I'd like to thank Andelys for all of the help you've given me throughout the last year. You've been an invaluable guide and advisor, and I couldn't be more appreciative of your patience and guidance as I've prepared for going abroad. Thank you for making that first contact last Fall and for assisting me with this entire process.

Of course, thank you to my family for being so supportive of my decision to spend a semester abroad.  Thank you for all of the advice and well wishes, for the hugs and the guidance. I couldn't go abroad without knowing I have your blessing. Mom, I know that this is going to be hard for you, but you've been a rockstar and your support means a lot to me. Thank you for teaching me the tools I needed to make this decision and to go on this adventure. I promise I'll keep in touch and I'll be safe. I love you.

To my friends, professors, and mentors back at Marian, thank you for being so awesome. I am going to miss you all to no end, but I'll be back for one final semester! Thank you for all of the hugs you gave me last week when I came to visit. I can't tell you how much better they made me feel. The confidence and support you all give me push me to be my best, and I know I couldn't do this without all of you. A big thank you to my friends in the Chicago area as well for all of the times you've reached out to wish me luck, for all the advice you've given, and for just being amazing.

*product endorsement* Thank you, Netflix, for being there for me as a distraction when I'm too stressed to think about packing. Thank you, Amazon, for your one-day shipping for all my last minute needs. However, we need to discuss how you package your items because the monster box I received for the small camera bag I ordered was egregious. Thank you, Advil PM, for allowing me to have a final good night of sleep here at home. I may not be able to sleep for the next 30 hours, so I have you to thank for any sanity I manage to maintain. Thank you, Portillo's, for my final American meal. I chose wisely.

I need to give a final shout out to my best friend. Anna, I can't tell you how much I'm going to miss you. But I am so grateful that you've been my biggest supporter of going abroad. I know that being by yourself for a semester is going to be challenging, but you'll be great! Thank you for the constant reminder that I'm going to be just fine and calming my crazy anxiety. I know you tell me that it's in the job description of being a best friend but you should know that you go above and beyond, and I am so grateful for you. I love ya Merls, and I'll be back before you know it!

Wanderlust

Since I'm going abroad, my desire to travel has increased exponentially. While I've made no definite plans to travel once I'm there, I do have a bucket list of places that I hope to visit. There are scheduled excursions that I'll be going on with the International Studies Abroad Program to: Sienna, Piza, Assisi, Chinque Terre, Rome, and the Central Hilltowns of Italy. Aside from these, I am hoping to also get to Venice, Bari, and Luca. The first has been on my bucket list since I was a child, and the latter two are where my family immigrated from. I would love to get to see other parts of Europe as well, but I do have a limited budget. My plan is just to be as spontaneous and free as possible. Italy is beautiful and there is plenty to explore there, so if I don't make it outside of the country I'll be perfectly okay with that as well.

Sadness

This is my senior year of my undergrad degree. If I could go back and change anything about this trip, it would be that I had done it sooner. I've realized just how much I'm going to miss by being gone for the last Fall semester, and it does make me sort of sad. I'll miss being a student mentor; the incredible bonding between our team and guiding freshman during their transition into college. I'll miss being a student leader in organizations and clubs. I'll miss the Honor's program Fall events and SPECTRUM's Masquerade Ball. I'll miss my friends and family. I won't celebrate Thanksgiving. It's not until you'll be gone that you realize how much you take for granted all the little things you look forward to during the first semester of school. But people grow older and they move on, and this adventure is part of that journey for me. It makes me sad to think I'll miss out on all these experiences, but I know I'm going to be doing so many new things that will make up for it.

I think I'm going to leave the list of emotions at just the top 5. I could go on to talk about how I also feel happiness, anticipation, confidence, courage, stress, and wonder, but that could take too long and I still need to shower and finish packing before I leave in a little over an hour. I'm sure the person next to me on the flight will be appreciative if I showered. Nine and a half hours is a long time to sit next to someone with body odor, so I know I'm hoping they've done me the same courtesy.

In all seriousness, I'm so incredibly thrilled to be going on this journey. I know the nerves will pass and I'll just be left basking in the glory of breadsticks and gelato. Thank you to everyone who has helped me get to this point and for your support. Thank you for reading my blog and being interested enough to make it to the end of it. The next 30 hours are going to be the hardest, but if there's one thing I know it's this: BRO I GOT THIS!

Ciao!